just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
