at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
