I intend to get homeless drunk
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize