OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
