You can't special order awesome
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
