I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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