...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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