I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
