dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I will be naked everywhere
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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