I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
