Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
