? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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