OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
did i walk over a car last night?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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