I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I am naked and annoyed.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
