I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
