Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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