no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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