I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
