how can u be prego again
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
