I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
