The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
