You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
