Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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