i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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