Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
