do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
