I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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