Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
