so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
