i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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