Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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