I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
