Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
