it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
