Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
