Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
