Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
