I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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