New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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