babies were throwing up all over the place
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
