Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
