Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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