these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
