i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
