her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I understand Curling. That high.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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