i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize