Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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