Sponge bath it is.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
