just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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