If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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