YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
