Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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