We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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