i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
