Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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