you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
