I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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