And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
