he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
