Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
