I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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