I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
