So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There's always time for handjobs
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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