thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i already hear my dad disowning me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
