Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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