I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize