this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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