i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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